Lost pages of Trinidad Maria Gardell-molim vas da niko ne pise sem mene

I am so tired.I am tired of using my brain at all.I am not in love,that is for sure.I fell presure is on me all the time.Do this do that.I can't.I want summer,no I want that I don't go to school at all,but I am home educated.Like children in Australia.I have to finish this,because I am on the computer,and my mom will be here any minute......

I hoped and hoped.But nothing,nothing again.Double!I felt for the first time that somebody care for me,but then she appears,with her perfect friendship.Oh how I would like to be at her place.That was the first time,but no there is always the other time.God I don't have reservs for the rest of my life.I am not angry,but how would you feel when you start to feel a men for the first time just to be beaten to the end,to the ground.You were right,happy now.Than godness it wasn't angry at me.I hate myself.......No acctually I love myself-inside.Cause inside there is something that is growing and growing.A beast,with his claws in my heart and brain,making everything worse.Making my heart rust and my brain lost.I need to go on my jorney,were I can be happy.Starting from today,I am packing every nice memory.We all go in Narnia,Hogwarst,Prydain,hoping they will accept us.My jorney begins here.....